He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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