If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
