your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
