I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize