It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize