Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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