I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
