I heard we made out
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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