do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
