Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
