Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
