Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
