So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
