i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
