theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
