I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
