Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
