My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
