dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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