i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Randomize
