coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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