He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
