I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
