I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
