Did you just see the Batmobile???
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
