We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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