i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
