Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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