i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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