I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
