News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
