you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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