the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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