Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
