Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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