I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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