You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he shaved USA in his pubs
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
