i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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