bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How does one acquire holy water?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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