Your tits are I can't wait for
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This house was built for laser tag.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
