so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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