He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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