Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
