Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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