I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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