# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
