you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
