you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Farmville is her only friend.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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