I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
