Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
