There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
