I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
