he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
