Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
