Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
where are you?
Hypothermia
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
