just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
