I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
