My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize