sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
