If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
