He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
